Night Owl

Because I have to study for A&P I can't really write a long drawn out thought. I just wanted to post that I am alive and well after my 2 back to back 12 hour night shifts Monday and last night. 7pm-7am sure is an odd time to be awake! So far I am really enjoying my job, for the most part! The nurses haven't all completely opened up to me yet...and I don't want to feel like "just a PCA" to them, so I'm hoping I feel more welcome soon. But my preceptor and unit secretary have been wonderful and I laugh A LOT while doing rounds! The kids are amazing. It's one of the biggest blessings I've ever received to actually take care of patients, or at least FEEL like I'm "taking care of them." Listening to the infants heartbeats, taking toddlers blood pressure...it's all very fascinating and making me feel more and more like I could love nursing for my career. I am tired! But I am surviving and holding on okay. I went straight from work to school at 8am until noon today... and it was around 11:30 I started to crash. I was able to sleep about 4 hours when I came home, and I am praying I can sleep well with Asa tonight! It will be SO good to be in bed with my husband again! 2 nights apart has been okay but I miss him so much! 

I am praying earnestly that I can finish school WELL, especially in A&P! Longing for a B- in the class and at least a B in Philosophy... 5 more weeks! :) God is so good. I have learned in the past 48 hours that He REALLY and truly is ALL of my strength! What a refreshing and humbling thought!

Springtime In the City

Welcome, Spring! I have officially finished my Kosair's Children Hospital (KCH) orientation! Yesterday I decided, "Why not get a flu shot?" [Just to be "safe" right?] The nurse warned me, because I've NEVER had one in my entire life, I may get a little sick and have some flu symptoms, but usually just a low-grade fever and some chills. By 9pm I was complaining that I felt awful. My neck was throbbing and my lower back was aching. I decided to lay down at 10pm and call my mom because I miss her and by 10:30 I couldn't even talk. I pleaded with Asa to go get a theromemeter because Elsa had destroyed ours [not a mercury filled glass one, people!] and when he came and felt my skin, which was on FIRE, he ran out to get one. My temperature when he got back was 101.8 and I was just whimpering and tears were streaming out of my eyes because I was so hot and so sore. I continued to take ibuprofen and aspirin, and nothing seemed to help. By midnight, Asa came in to check on me and take my temp again, and it was 103. . . I felt like my body was literally burning itself. I took a lukewarm bath and took one more tyelnol PM and 2 regular tylenols, and around 1:30 I was able to drift into a DEEP sleep until 8 this morning when I woke for more ibuprofen, but at that time, I was fever free! 
Last night was one of the most painful, horrendous, wimpiest nights of my life. My temperature is typically around 97 degrees, I have a low regular body temp! So 101-103 was MISERABLE. The one thing it did help me see though, was that when I am working with patients come Monday, LITTLE patients, LITTLE kids and even babies, who HAVE these fevers and are so sick and actually hospitilized? I am going to be so much more empathetic. Little sweet things! 
Also, I am one of the biggest babies ever when I get sick myself....so I definitely will not think that these little kids should act brave or strong, when I most certaintly don't myself! 

Today we are going shopping for hospital shoes and BLINDS AND DRAPES for my new 3rd shift job. I start on Monday. I work Mon, Tues, and Thursday [which will be my birthday!] I am so praying for strength. School starts again on Monday and I will have six weeks left...I already don't even want to go BACK after this week of spring break! But I am almost done! I just really and sincerely pray I can do WELL in A&P and finish strong with at least a B- in the class...otherwise I would have to take it ALL OVER AGAIN for nursing school at Bellarmine, if that's where God leads me! Ouch that would stink. 

So, prayers are appreciated as I make my way back into classes and working 40 hours a week at NIGHT! :) God is SO good and beautiful and merciful and KIND. Heis above all things and He IS all things! I miss my family and my brothers, as this spring time approaches. I have so many wonderful memories playing on the trampoline w/ Seany and us creating our own games! Baseball, go-carting, sprinklers, indoor pool... It's funny how we wish our lives away when we're young! I have been trying to soak in ALL the memories as they come, here in my adult life!!! Spring time is ALWAYS my favorite!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Blessed

I just needed to say I feel incredibly blessed tonight. Today was a bittersweet day. I spent all day in Richmond, KY with Asa's family, for his Uncle Buddy's funeral. Uncle Buddy was 59 years old and had spent many of his years institutionalized in a VA hospital for his schitzophrenia. I never met him...but I know he was very special and loved! 
I can't write because I'm in bed w my sleeping husband and our dogs who are hogging me and Manny who is trying to get comfortable on my face. 

But I feel incredibly blessed to be loved by my sweet, handsome, wonderful husband...and I am so humbled by his love. I am praying to wake up early in the morning before church to surprise him with some breakfast in bed!!!!!! :) 

 

Welcome March

Welcome, March! My arms and heart are wide open! The fact that it is March 3 blows my mind! My last day at the vet office will be next Thursday the 11th and Monday the 15th I start my new job orientation. The 22nd is my first 3rd hour shift! And on the 25th I will finally be 22 years old. [I feel like such a baby being married to a 26 year old and having most of my friends be around that age!]

I am doing really well in A&P! I got a B on the 2nd exam and a B+ on the 3rd. The 4th is on Monday the 8th and I am excited to take it, [It's over bones and the integumentary system.] The funny thing is, I am not doing very well in my philosophy class [which is my MAJOR,] and my professor hates me. Isn't it weird how things change and grow and we are given a new perspective? 


One of my best friend's Danielle got married this past Saturday. She looked so beautiful and happy and innocent! They had been dating almost three years (one month short,) and I am so excited to watch her grow as a wife. 

I am going home to MI next weekend Friday-Sunday. It will be the last time I am home until May, after I am GRADUATED, for my best friend and sister's wedding, Peggy O! 

My sister-in-law Sarah has popped by the way. She is absolutely adorable as a pregnant woman. She had an early ultrasound and they were pretty certain she is having a boy...but it was still a little early to tell. I am so excited! I cannot wait to watch her grow in the Lord during this time period and to give birth to a beautiful baby! I don't get to see her often...but I love and adore her so much.  


I am very excited to see God work. Asa and I have been praying about searching for a new church... which is incredibly hard on him as he has been attending our church for 26 years, and while I've been there for three... I do think God may be calling us elsewhere. We visited our friends the Boyds' in Georgetown this past Sunday and it was SUCH a blessing. It is so good to be around FRESH, NEW, REAL individuals who just LOVE the Lord and us. As soon as I hugged Myranda, I felt a huge sense of relief and love wash over me for the first time in a long time! 

Anyway, back to studying. 
Thank you, Lord for your love, your PATIENCE with me as your child...and your mercy. I love you :)

Sitting With Jesus

I randomly decided to take a very hot bubble bath tonight after dinner and studying A&P...and I wish I liked baths better, but I unfortunately got way too hot after about 15 minutes and had to rinse off in cold water and get the heck out! 

However, in the midst of the bath, with bubbles almost suffocating me (reminding me of a song I "wrote" when I lived at home w/ my parents about bubbles suffocating me...."You stupid bubbles I haaaate youuuu. I wish you would just go chew goo." Literally...That is the start of the song. Anyway, I digress!) In the midst of the bath while reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World [which I've been reading FAR too long because get this, I DON'T HAVE TIME! The author would be dissapointed...] I found a section that talked about Jesus in our hearts, titled, "Making Room for the Savior." Here, she makes reference to another author Munger, who writes about having different rooms in his heart where he invites Jesus to walk around. He welcomes Jesus room by room and when they get to the "drawing room" here is where I want my own heart to be like: 
"The room was rather intimate and comftorable. I liked it. It had a fireplace, overstuffed chairs, a bookcase, sofa and a quiet atmosphere. Jesus also seemed pleased with it. He said, "Let us come together here often. It is secluded and quiet and we can have fellowship together!" Jesus promised, "I will be here every morning early. Meet with Me here and we will start the day together." So morning by morning, I would come downstairs to the drawing room and He would take a book of the Bible, open it and we would read together. He would tell me of its riches and unfold to me its truths...they were wonderful hours together! In fact, we started to call this room the 'withdrawing room.' It was a period when we had our quiet time together. Little by little, under the pressure of many responsibilies, this time would be shortened...I began to miss a day now and then...I would miss it two days and often more. One morning while in a hurry, I passed the drawing room and the door was ajar. Looking in I saw a fire in the fireplace and the Lord sitting there. "Blessed Master forgive me! Have you been here all these mornings?!?" "Yes," He told me. "I told you I would be here every morning to meet with you." Then I was even more ashamed. He had been faithful inspite of my unfaithlessness. I asked His forgiveness and He readily forgave me...Jesus said, "The trouble with you is this: You have been thinking of this quiet time as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to Me also." 


Jesus longs to spend time with us. I have been struggling recently with the message of baptism and what it means for actual salvation. I mean, I was in literal tears recently because I thought I was on the wrong page and misguided... after vigorous study with my husband and conversation with friends, I have realized that God is above all gracious and good and HE will speak to me heart. He is SO excited over the fact that I am studying and researching and getting the answers for MYSELF. It is amazing how once I have started to study something, I just want to continue and I want to learn more! My husband is so sweet to say, "What do you want to study together now?" 
I have busy weeks filled with studying, work and enjoying my marriage. But God is SO serious when He says that HE needs time with us as well! When my quiet times begin to diminish, it is amazing to see how quickly I can forget His scriptures and what He says for us to be His followers! I am so grateful for books like Joanna Weaver's to bring me back each time...and I am so grateful for my Lord who gave me His word to fall more and more in love with each day.

God Answered

The decision has been made!!!!!! I had the interview mentioned in the last post, and I actually got a phone call that evening while I was at work, that Shelli the RN Manager who interviewed me, was "incredibly impressed and drawn to me," so they offered me the job! I had prayed that God would give me whichever job HE wanted for me, and whichever one would be the best fit. So: I TOOK IT! I start March 15th, which is perfect because that's the week of U of L's spring break, so I'll have orientation every single day that week but no school to worry about! And then by the time classes begin March 22nd, I'll have exactly a month left of school. I am so excited. I could not believe that I was hired that quickly...Terri, the recruiter who spoke to me, said it's incredibly rare that one gets hired so quickly after an interview! God is doing something in my life! This will be the perfect position to show me if nursing is the career for me. [Well, contigent on me passing my nursing pre-reqs as well...] But still! I am incredibly excited. I told my current job, the vet clinic, and they were amazing. Lauren, the manager, was so supportive and sweet...easy to talk to and she gave me a big hug! And Dr. Vaughn was also incredibly supportive! 
What an exciting chapter. I will be working with doctors and nurses and CHILDREN and their families! I cannot wait to be a witness and express my joy for Christ!!!!!!!!!!

Also, another answered prayer: Nathan is out of the hospital and HOME! He was discharged last night and he is SO happy to be home! He was there for 11 days! I am so relieved that he and my mom got to sleep in a REAL bed last night! Praise Jesus! I am so grateful for the blood of Christ and Redemption. It has been fascinating to see Him move so quickly the past week as all my brothers and sisters in Christ came together and lifted up our prayers! I know adjusting to this new job will be difficult and even very stressful, as working 12 hours nights will be something BRAND NEW for me. I pray that I manage my emotions well and that Asa and I will be strong and adjust in good timing. I am so in love with my husband, who has been so supportive of everything!!!!!!!

A Time to Wait

There is a time for everything, including a time to wait. In Exodus, God did not lead the children of Israel directly to the Promised Land, instead it was more of a detour... 
In that detour however, God showed us 4 important things: 1. His guidance is always possible 2. It is sometimes perplexing 3. It is personal and 4. It is progressive. 

I have no idea what will be the outcome of the 2 interviews I had this morning with Kosair. Nor do I know which one will be the very best for me! The PCA position is going to be hands on, patient care: great for a peek into the life of a real nurse! The unit secretary is in the NICU, and as soon as I stepped into the NICU... I thought, "I love it here." The teeny, tiny babies were barely big enough to fit into my own child size hands and I was in awe. However, the nurse manager told me it was only 12 hours a week (one night) and that I could pick up any hours extra that were available. The starting pay is $11 plus a 15% increase for 3rd shift...so I just don't see how 12 hours would fit Asa's and mine lifestyle...unless I was guaranteed to pick up at least one more night. Both nurse managers in each unit were incredibly nice...the PCA position however is 36 hours a week, 3 nights, with a commitment to working every 3rd weekend (Friday and Saturday back to back.) The PCA sounds more intimidating, scary, nerve wracking and energy demanding...but again, a real glimpse into hands on nursing.
The nurse manager in the PCA interview sounded more proactive...she was in the last stage of interviewing, whereas the NICU nurse was in her very first stages...So they are at two completely different spectrums and I seriously have no idea what to expect. So: I will expect nothing. I will pray and be diligent in trusting my Father to do whatever His will is. Which one do I want? I honestly have no idea on that either...again I felt more "at home" in the NICU? Like it could potentially be "my niche?" But what do I know? I am going to celebrate in the fact that I just had two job interviews today...I prayed that someone would call me for a face to face meeting, and God made that happen the next day.
Now, I just pray that HIS will be done and not mine. I will work full time or I will work 12 hours. After getting into Norton/Kosair, I can pretty easily move around to different positions...so who is to say I will not start somewhere and end up somewhere different in several months? God is Almighty and in control of this situation, just as He is in others!  


God's reasons for detours are clearly to protect us from danger and to develop us. My heart could want one thing and God's could be saying a completely different thing. I will promise not to fear or panic or feel trapped in whatever decision HE makes for me. I could be offered both or neither or just one. I must wait and trust.