Faith and Submissiveness

I woke up this afternoon after working my 12 hours last night and immediately thought about the story of Abraham and Sarah: I have no idea why this was on my mind, the very first, as I rolled myself out from the covers, but it was--so I decided to re-read the passage that I am sure I have read mulitple times. 
First I googled it and read a whole short story on the couple--it was all about Sarah's faith and submissiveness towards her Lord and her husband. Through Abraham, she followed her God, even in times of doubt, sin and sadness. 
In my ESV Bible I found this so interesting in Genesis 18: 
The Lord appeared to Abraham in the form of a visitor and he was asked where his wife was. He responded, "She is in the tent." The Lord said, "I will surely return to you about this time next year and Sarah your wife shall have a son." Sarah was listening at the tent door and she laughed, saying, 'After I am worn out and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?" The Lord said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Shall I indeed bear a child now that I am old?' IS ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR THE LORD? At the APPOINTED time I will return to you about this time next year and Sarah SHALL have a son." BUT Sarah denied it saying, "I did not laugh," for she was afraid. And HE SAID, "BUT YOU DID LAUGH."
It was at this point in reading that I had to stop and think... how many times have I laughed at the words of God? Granted, He has never spoken so incredibly clear to me as He did Sarah and Abraham and multitudes of people back in the Old Testament... but I just wonder how many times I have doubted. I can almost hear Him saying to my face the way He did Sarah, "BUT YOU did LAUGH." The rest of the story proceeds and in chapter 21 of Genesis, Sarah bears her first son, Isaac--which means LAUGHTER. She says in verse 6, "God has made laughter for me, everyone who hears will laugh over me." 


Talk about a beautiful story...Sarah was human, incredibly human. She sinned, she became angry in her sin and jealous of Abraham's other women [I would be too!] but yet she remained faithful and submissive to her God and her husband. She stayed true and she continued to believe. 
 Every night I struggle with the "what ifs" of this world. As I do my 12 hours at the hospital, I go back and forth, back and forth, between nursing, teaching, and a million other careers. I seriously have absolutely no idea what I will be doing in life... I know I have a heart for people, especially young children, and I have a true desire to see them know the Lord. I have left college and become more confused than I ever was--and as I look back and see all the mistakes and errors I have made, ALL I want is to do RIGHT in the Lord's eyes. 
So we will see. And I will wait. And I will pray. And I will trust. I have hope in my Savior and I will not laugh at anything he tells me to do.